If I were a magic wizard I wouldn’t harm people when they pissed me off, I’d just put these really fucked up random curses on them, like every time they saw a school bus they would shit their pants, or every time someone said the word Thursday they would pretend they were a dragon for 20 seconds.
i think you would be a very good wizard.
the mediocre gatsby
the decent wall of china
the ok depression
The mildly interesting barrier reef
somewhat fulfilled expectations.
alexander the good enough
Imagine if your follower count turned into money
I’d still be broke
— Robert H. Schuller (via floralnymph)
fun prank: get a job working at a bakery and powder the doughnuts with cocaine instead of powdered sugar
fun prank more like how to ruin somebodies life
i said it was fun not ethical
yeah ruin your life you know how expensive that much cocaine would be? 5trilliongazilliondollars
— william chapman (via williamchapmanwritings)
That awkward moment when you ran up the stairs and now you’re trying to hide your heavy breathing like it’s no big deal but you’re actually pretty winded and dear god you need to work out.